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Soldier Extends For Ninth Consecutive Tour Because She ‘Likes To Feel Pretty’
BAGRAM AIRFIELD — A female Army private is proud to receive some recognition today, after media outlets learned that she holds the record for longest-serving soldier in Afghanistan. Private Amanda...
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Soldier Asks Black Army Buddy To Be Best Man At Wedding, KY Community Stunned
HARLAN COUNTY, KY — A blatantly racist soldier is being praised for what civil rights activists are calling an ‘enormous leap forward’ in race relations. The former junior KKK member, Private First...
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Military Bans Tobacco Products To Improve Combat Effectiveness In Afghanistan
BAGRAM, AFGHANISTAN — The Pentagon is unveiling a new policy banning tobacco products for most troops in Afghanistan that planners believe will improve combat effectiveness. “We are always trying to...
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‘Take Your Fobbit To Work Day’ Ends In Newfound Respect, 27 Wounded In Action
KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN — Pentagon sources were proud to announce the success of a new, yearly event which allowed Fobbits — service-members who spend their entire tour on Forward Operating Base — the...
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Entire Military Comes Out Of Closet, Confirms They Are All Gay
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking turn of events in light of the Supreme Court striking down parts of the Defense of Marriage Act as unconstitutional, the entire United States military has confirmed...
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VFW Opens Membership To Military Fakers Due To Lack Of Interest From Young...
KANSAS CITY, MO – In an unprecedented response to dwindling membership ranks, the Veterans of Foreign Wars have extended eligibility to military fakers. According to officials, people who fake military...
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Vet Placed On Academic Probation After Murder Of Student Who Asked ‘If He...
COSTA MESA, CA - One life has ended and another’s academic future is on life support after a tragic day at Orange County
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Vatican Denounces Soldier Who Ate MRE Poundcake, Had Miracle Image Of Virgin...
KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN – Vatican officials are denouncing a U.S. Army soldier today after learning that the deployed service-member ate a “miraculous and holy MRE
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Former TRADOC Soldier Confused, Scared After Discovering Army Changed
FORT EUSTIS, VA – A former U.S. Training and Doctrine Command (TRADOC) soldier was surprised to find the Army has evolved much
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$387 Billion Congressional Study Proves ‘Pen Not Mightier Than The Sword’
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A newly released study conducted by Congress has proven once and for all that the pen is not mightier
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Soldier Extends For Ninth Consecutive Tour Because She ‘Likes To Feel Pretty’
BAGRAM AIRFIELD — A female Army private is proud to receive some recognition today, after media outlets learned that she holds the
View ArticleClik here to view.
Military Uses Miley Cyrus Performance To ‘Crush Soul’ Of Al Qaeda
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following the infamous Miley Cyrus performance at the MTV Video Music Awards, U.S. military psychological units have been broadcasting the video to every known Al Qaeda operative
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Soldier Writes Letter To NFL Player Who Bashed ‘Unskilled’ Military
Dear Mr. Football Player, I saw on Twitter you think it’s easy and takes no skills to kill people. Well, let me tell you this. It takes mad skills and
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Pentagon Scraps ‘Lightsaber’ Weapons Program After Gross Misconduct, Numerous...
BAGRAM, AFGHANISTAN — A top secret weapons development program has been scrapped after countless allegations of misconduct and numerous injuries were sustained by soldiers and Marines in Afghanistan,...
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Female Officer Acquitted For Sexual Relationship With Enlisted Female Because...
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — After a month long trial, 1st Lt. Summer Lovejoy has been found not guilty of numerous charges stemming from an illicit love affair with an 18-year-old
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Military Bans Tobacco Products To Improve Combat Effectiveness In Afghanistan
BAGRAM, AFGHANISTAN — The Pentagon is unveiling a new policy banning tobacco products for most troops in Afghanistan that planners believe will improve combat effectiveness. “We are always trying to...
View ArticleClik here to view.
‘Take Your Fobbit To Work Day’ Ends In Newfound Respect, 27 Wounded In Action
KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN — Pentagon sources were proud to announce the success of a new, yearly event which allowed Fobbits — service-members who spend their entire tour on Forward Operating Base — the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Entire Military Comes Out Of Closet, Confirms They Are All Gay
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking turn of events in light of the Supreme Court striking down parts of the Defense of Marriage Act as unconstitutional, the entire United States military has confirmed...
View ArticleClik here to view.
VFW Opens Membership To Military Fakers Due To Lack Of Interest From Young...
KANSAS CITY, MO – In an unprecedented response to dwindling membership ranks, the Veterans of Foreign Wars have extended eligibility to military fakers. According to officials, people who fake military...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Military Uses Miley Cyrus Performance To ‘Crush Soul’ Of Al Qaeda
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following the infamous Miley Cyrus performance at the MTV Video Music Awards, U.S. military psychological units have been broadcasting the video to every known Al Qaeda operative...
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